Oh my, I need to learn to be much much more faithful with my blog. Chh. SO I am very much back in England now, and have been for several months. Wow, so much has been going on inside me - I really wish I had been better at keeping up on here for the past few months :-{ Now I can't put any of it into words! So frustrating. Right now, as I'm trying to think of what to say, situations, ideas, conversations, plans, dreams, are coming to mind. But they are swishing and swimming around my head like a bucket-load of demented worms. Not so helpful for clear thinking. I don't know what I think. I don't know what I feel.
Right now, I feel emotion. I am not sure what it is. It's in my stomach... deep. Pushing and pulling my heart around in circles. I'm not sure what it means, or where it's trying to lead me. But it's there, indescribable and unexplainable. Even to myself. It feels like a deep longing... for... something.
Off-track! Anyhow, that is one thing that is making my thoughts gallop around my head. This is just so frustrating to me, because there are so MANY things that I want to say, to verbalize, but they are all running away screaming from my head - like they don't want me to tell you about them. Lets just take a step back. Sometimes if I just start typing, what I want to say will eventually come out.
Hello, I'm Abbey! I'm 17 years old. Is that strange? I can't tell. It seems fairly average at the moment. I wish I was 16, and I wish I was 18. 17 is also good. I am liking it. But I am scared of it - I can't believe I am 17. It seems like I should be 7! or 28! Do I make sense to anyone but myself? I think not. I mean... time is going too fast. It seems like I should still be 8, because that's sort of how I feel... like I was 8 yesterday. and with how fast time is going, I'm almost expecting to wake up one morning and find myself 50 years old, half (or more) of my life gone! Oh dear, I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon. I hope I wake up 17 tomorrow.
Is it just me, or do these seem like the insane ramblings of a mad-woman?
Oh dear (deer). I wish I made sense.
*sigh* doesn't seem to be working. So life, right at the moment, is fairly average. I need to find more ways to make it spectacular, but I am beginning to run out of ideas. (suggestions, anyone?)
Oh my. My head feels so flummoxed right now. So twisty. Unfocused. Confused? Maybe. Ironic? Yes. Satisfied? No. Spirally and serpentine. Gone.
Hum. Methinks that is all I will be able to cull from my head for the time being. I will honestly try to keep up on here more though, so see ya! Have a wonderful Valentines day next year! Much love, peace and prosperity on all of you. Liberty, equality, fraternity! ..................
