Mutterings of a self torchuring mind.

Ahh. Oh no. I feel it. I will not fall apart, I can't. They're gone though. Already. It is just now starting to sink in. I managed not to freak out when my beautiful last DTS left for good, because this football DTS was here... but... now they're gone... they just left this morning... there goes all my social interaction... I am exhausted of this... I can't handle it again... people say you get used to it, and get numb to the leaving of others, but I don't. I just get so freaking attached to people so flipping easy. Ugh. My stomach hurts. Why do I do this to myself? Grrr. I just don't want to have to go through the lonely months again. I can't handle that anymore. And I know I actually don't HAVE to this time. I have another very close friend. He never leaves me alone, and I don't want him to. God promised me to stay around even when they all left. He will keep me company through the lonely months, and the desperate moments. But it's hard,... to get that.... because I can't see him, physically... in the room... he I S here... but I can't technically 'hang out' with him. But I can. I can. And he's here. We chat, I can hear him sometimes... but It's not easy. I just need to get used to it still. Not feeling lonely when I don't need to. Which is all the time. He's always here. He's with me right now. Now. I can feel his presence in the room if I think about it. And he loves me so ridiculously too much. I don't deserve it, darnit. Aright, I need to go befriend the people inside now. Fare thee well. -Abbey